zoe = God's kinda life

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

self-inflicted pain

Dun worry, i'm not suicidal, psycho or anything like that.. hhaa, i just went to pierce my ears. i dunno y i did it. i guess i wanted to do sth impulsive. but now, i'm regretting it. my ears are not 'normal' anymore. Everytime i touch it, there's something extra there.. err.. of course la! aih, i hv this urge to take it out NOW.. haa =P Anyways, the ears-piercing incident brought back lotsa memories & started me thinking about a lot of things.. dunno y..

To start with, this is not the first time i've pierced my ears.. my dad (dun recall my mum being there though) brought me to pierce my ears when i was 3 or 5.. really young..(before u start thinking my parents are trying to torture me, their intention was that since i'm so young, i wont rem the pain.. better than piercing it when i'm older) but till date i can still remember that nite. it was at a jewellery shop. u know those chinese ones? with all the red and gold signs? and the jewellery comes in those pink or red pouchy things? ya, that kinda shop.. Anyways, the lady pierced one side.. i cried and ran down from the chair (ya, those tall round chairs with red cushions).. haha.. and i can still rem my dad buying some kind of sweet (that comes in a tube like thing, kinda like mentos style) to make me sit down again.. so with my sobs and hiccups, clutching my sweet, i sat down again.. AHHH! bang, the other side pierced (i dunno if my memory was distorted in any way.. maybe my parents can verify it, but these images still seem very real in my memory.. not the fuzzy kind)

The funny thing is, after all that.. from as long as i can remember, i dun really like sweets.. always preferred chocolate.. or the only sweet i eat are mints.. and my ear piercings eventually closed up after not wearing earrings for years.. cos being in a super strict chinese independent high school, i wasnt allowed to wear earrings.. and i obediently followed it. and thought that, i dun like earrings anyways.. i still dun.. i think that it's an extra thing i hv to think of.. i hv to buy earrings and decide which pair i wanna wear.. so leceh.. i still stand by this thinkings.. i still dunno y i pierced my ears..

When i pierced my ears on monday, it was disappointing, it didnt hurt.. maybe i was trying to bring back my childhood memories? i asked the lady to pierce back on the same spot.. but she told me it wasnt in the middle.. which made me think, isit cos i've grown up, my ears grew too? and that made the pierced spot not in the middle anymore.. so all the ppl who pierced their ears when they were young dun hv centred piercings lor? hmm..

Still regret piercing my ears.. Hope i dun get infection like when i was young.. Still rem lying on my mum's lap when she help me put on some oil like thing to soothe it.. and in my young mind, i kept thinking, why do i hv to go thru all this 'pain' to hv pierced ears when i dun even want pierced ears.. maybe it's just one of those things.. like drinking bitter herbal medicine. When i was younger, i always refuse to drink it, attempt to pour it down the sink or just resort to drink it all in one gulp so i wont taste it as much. Although i still hate drinking it, but now, whenever i get sick, i wish there was some kind of bitter drink that can make me well again.. ahha.. i guess we all grow up..

Zoe @ 7:05 AM | comment link here

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